All I've been hearing about for the past few days is how the NSA has been spying on us, and nothing is private anymore, but has anyone considered the benefits of having the NSA collecting all of your communications? I have.First of all: It will put a stop to all those annoying people who criticize the government. Who will whine about the government when they know that someone who works for the government is listening? I'll tell you who: terrorists. Now instead of listening to how politics is becoming too partisan, we can get back to meaningful discussion topics like last week's episode of "Storage Wars," or the best season of "Dr. Who."
Second: It means all that data that you've been trying to find an easy way to store is already being stored for you! Those emails you were trying to organize by date? The NSA has them organized by frequency of the words, "jihad," "Obama," and "holy-war," which is almost as good.
Third: It will make politeness and email etiquette the norm. Now, instead of hastily typing out a request for an email to a friend, every email can be tagged with a polite "thank you" to the agent making sure the two fifteen year old band geeks aren't hiding bombs in their tuba cases.
The miscellaneous applications are also impressive. Phone conversations submitted as evidence in a court case will always be verified, you have an unbiased third party settle any argument you have over the phone, someone can always proofread your emails, and no snap-chat dick pick will go unappreciated.
What I'm trying to say is: keep an open mind. Sure, privacy is dead, but at least we're safe from all the couples arguing over who should hang up first.
