We've all been there, I'm talking to the fanboy, the fanboy who's favorite franchise was made into a movie this year, the fanboy, who will be disappointed when the Oscars come around and his movie only comes up for something dumb like best makeup or lighting. The Academy rarely chooses action movies for the awards everyone cares about like best actor/actress or best picture, and that's because of the basic form of movies.
Movies are a visual story, they're moving picture books, and so the Academy likes movies that tell stories. It's true, most action movies have a plot, but did you see Prince of Persia for the plot, no, you saw it so you could get excited by seeing a guy with hippy hair parkour for two and a half hours. Action movies aren't focused around the plot, they're focused around stunts and adrenaline, whereas movies that tell a story can have the ability to change everyone who sees it because they didn't spend all the writing budget on parkour training.
Even when action movies do have good stories, like Spider-Man and Inception, it's either too confusing to have a plot that allows for such hyperbolized fight scenes, or suffers from being tethered to the source material. Not to say there aren't good action movies, one of my favorite movies of all time, Watchmen, is an action movie, but that is an exception from both the confusing story and source material rules.
So that's it, the Academy likes stories, and action movies aren't as much about the story, so enjoy them for what they are, not always masterpieces, but excitement generators, that are fueled by adrenaline and exist to get you pumped for the sequel next summer.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
the fretlessbass reviews: Marvel Vs. Capcom 3: fate of two worlds
First, I have a little cousin. His name is Timmy. I like Timmy, he understands my video game banter. He plays lots of video games. Once, we were talking and he said the word "verse" as in "will you verse me in Marvel Vs. Capcom 3?" No Tim, I will not, because that is not only not a word, but it also wouldn't be a verb. Two often people see the symbol "vs." and just say "verse" that is wrong, it is an abbreviation for the word versus.
Now to the game. My fist teen rated game was Capcom: fighting evolution. I liked it a lot, it held my attention, was it a good game? meh. Marvel Vs. (versus) Capcom 3 is very similar. In that I mean that you need to keep the controls page open on your lap for the first two weeks playing. It would be easier to control a nuclear generator while drunk than get Captain America to do "Hyper stars and stripes."
I don't really like fighting games, but MVC3 is about as good as they're going to get. Once you get into it, you can do the controls, but it's only fun with friends, and once you do that you're "that guy" That guy that in wanting to unlock all the characters for his friends has become unstoppable and un-fun to play with. Also, the plot is unveiled by unlocking video clips, I don't know about the rest of you, but when I play video games, I like to contribute to a story, that's what sets them apart from normal TV. Games like MVC3 are like guessing to "Who wants to be a millionaire?" You're technically playing, but no one gives a rat's ass and you could make more money by selling cars that instead of staring when you turned the key, punched you in the face.
My grievances with the characters, Who the F@#$ are half of these guys? The problem with games like these are the designers are fanboys of the origional, so most of the Capcom characters that haven't had a game in thirty years are playable characters that you will never play as. Also, I think all the female Capcom characters are S and M prostitutes in their spare time, because there is about a square inch of clothing among them. Who is Ryu? who is the cat lady with unrealistically jiggly breasts? Why should anyone care? The Marvel characters are why normal people buy this game, not the washed-up fighters turned prostitutes.
MVC3 is fun though, I like to play it with my brother, and if you get really good with one character, you can watch your fighting style change over time. I reccomend it to anyone who can rub a controller on their dog. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to make sure someone isn't ogling the cat-lady while my game is paused.
Now to the game. My fist teen rated game was Capcom: fighting evolution. I liked it a lot, it held my attention, was it a good game? meh. Marvel Vs. (versus) Capcom 3 is very similar. In that I mean that you need to keep the controls page open on your lap for the first two weeks playing. It would be easier to control a nuclear generator while drunk than get Captain America to do "Hyper stars and stripes."
I don't really like fighting games, but MVC3 is about as good as they're going to get. Once you get into it, you can do the controls, but it's only fun with friends, and once you do that you're "that guy" That guy that in wanting to unlock all the characters for his friends has become unstoppable and un-fun to play with. Also, the plot is unveiled by unlocking video clips, I don't know about the rest of you, but when I play video games, I like to contribute to a story, that's what sets them apart from normal TV. Games like MVC3 are like guessing to "Who wants to be a millionaire?" You're technically playing, but no one gives a rat's ass and you could make more money by selling cars that instead of staring when you turned the key, punched you in the face.
My grievances with the characters, Who the F@#$ are half of these guys? The problem with games like these are the designers are fanboys of the origional, so most of the Capcom characters that haven't had a game in thirty years are playable characters that you will never play as. Also, I think all the female Capcom characters are S and M prostitutes in their spare time, because there is about a square inch of clothing among them. Who is Ryu? who is the cat lady with unrealistically jiggly breasts? Why should anyone care? The Marvel characters are why normal people buy this game, not the washed-up fighters turned prostitutes.
MVC3 is fun though, I like to play it with my brother, and if you get really good with one character, you can watch your fighting style change over time. I reccomend it to anyone who can rub a controller on their dog. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to make sure someone isn't ogling the cat-lady while my game is paused.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
the fretlessbass reviews: Frequency
This review is not time sensitive, because Frequency was released in 1999. So it's not recent, but I liked it a lot, and I have nothing better to do in an E-block study.
Frequency is a classic tale of good verses evil, father and son, and time travel..... kind of.
The story is about a young man in 1999 Queens who discovers that his radio can allow him to communicate with his dead father from 1969. The guy saves his father by telling him about the fire that killed him, but then they changed the future. Father and son must unite to save their wife/mother from a serial killer!
My one grievance with the movie is that it's really hard to keep track of what timeline is real, because in the movie, once you change something in the past, it immediately affects the future. The main characters are constantly changing the past, so I was never really sure what actually happened at any given time.
Next note, Frequency is a really intelligent movie, there are clock analogies throughout, one is where the kid in 1969 is riding a bike in a circle around his father. There are more, you should look for them yourself.
Also, they do some really interesting detective work. While the dad actively tries to stop the killer in the past, the son (he's a cop) uses his father's knowledge of the past to help catch the killer in 1999. For instance, they know that the killer has touched the dad's wallet, so the son has his dad put the wallet in a plastic bag, and hide it in a place where it won't be touched for thirty years. The son then goes to the place his dad specified, and finds the wallet to get a fingerprint from it.
Frequency is a good action, and time movie, just to clarify now, there isn't actually any time travel, just time-communication. If you like the movies Terminator and Field of Dreams, the you'll love Frequency. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to tell my past self to remember where he put the keys.....
Frequency is a classic tale of good verses evil, father and son, and time travel..... kind of.
The story is about a young man in 1999 Queens who discovers that his radio can allow him to communicate with his dead father from 1969. The guy saves his father by telling him about the fire that killed him, but then they changed the future. Father and son must unite to save their wife/mother from a serial killer!
My one grievance with the movie is that it's really hard to keep track of what timeline is real, because in the movie, once you change something in the past, it immediately affects the future. The main characters are constantly changing the past, so I was never really sure what actually happened at any given time.
Next note, Frequency is a really intelligent movie, there are clock analogies throughout, one is where the kid in 1969 is riding a bike in a circle around his father. There are more, you should look for them yourself.
Also, they do some really interesting detective work. While the dad actively tries to stop the killer in the past, the son (he's a cop) uses his father's knowledge of the past to help catch the killer in 1999. For instance, they know that the killer has touched the dad's wallet, so the son has his dad put the wallet in a plastic bag, and hide it in a place where it won't be touched for thirty years. The son then goes to the place his dad specified, and finds the wallet to get a fingerprint from it.
Frequency is a good action, and time movie, just to clarify now, there isn't actually any time travel, just time-communication. If you like the movies Terminator and Field of Dreams, the you'll love Frequency. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to tell my past self to remember where he put the keys.....
Sunday, February 13, 2011
5 Reasons Why Charlton Heston is the greatest thing ever and if you disagree with me, you're wrong.
5. He was in The Ten Commandments.
4. He was in Omega Man.
3. He was in Planet of the Apes.
2. All the roles above are entirely different characters which proves how good he is at acting.
1. The way he talks.
4. He was in Omega Man.
3. He was in Planet of the Apes.
2. All the roles above are entirely different characters which proves how good he is at acting.
1. The way he talks.
Friday, February 11, 2011
the Fretless Bass Reviews: First impressions of Just Cause 2
In most games, when someone says, "I'm going to skyjack a jet airplane, tie three guards to it, and fly it into a super poor village" people would ask, "Why?" But in Just Cause 2, the answer would be, "Why not?"
That just about sums up what Just Cause 2 is going for. It's a water-cooler game in every sense of the word. You can tell this because when I first told my friend about it, my phraseology was something went this. "So I needed to unlock a new mission, so I stuck a whole bunch of plastic explosives to a sports car and drove it into an explosives compound. The explosion killed me, but I kept all the rewards!"
The story follows a CIA agent named Rico Rodriguez. He is sent into a small southeast Asian island country to locate his mentor who may have gone rouge. Instead of just following leads on his whereabouts, Rico decides it would be best to destabilize the country by blowing up as many military depot's as possible.
Just Cause 2 is an open world game, but saying that Just Cause 2 is an open world game is like saying that Stalin went a bit too far. There are literally 400 virtual square miles of world for you to destroy. Now, most open worlds feature non-linear gameplay in which you generally need to do something a certain amount of times. This is sometimes the case in Just Cause, but the world is so huge that some of the missions can take on a linear feel. One problem that comes up in many open world games is that it releases you into a world in possibilities to steal cars and crash them into soup kitchens, and then punishes you for it, some games that are guilty of this are Grand Theft Auto, and Oblivion. This is not the case in Just Cause 2, as the game actually rewards you for blowing stuff up. To unlock story missions, you need to do stronghold missions, to get them, you need to do side missions, to do them, you need to cause chaos. Causing chaos is easier than you may think, because someone went all around the island and dropped explosive cans of oil everywhere.
The interesting gameplay mechanics the game offers are that of transportation. Rico has the ability to pull unlimited parachutes out of........ I don't know where he pulls the parachutes out of. He has no pockets! Where does he get the parachutes from? Either way, the parachute is really handy because landing anything besides a helicopter is incredibly difficult, and base jumping is really fun.
You also have a "grapple hook" that lets you grab onto anything within range. Using it to zip around is a good way to get places, but you can also use it to attach two things together. This includes people. One of the most satisfying things I have done in Just Cause 2 is grapple a guard to a car, then drive the car off of a cliff, or into a gas station, or off of a building.
The only thing I don't like about the game so far is the accents. There's one character whose accent is so terrible that every time I hear it, all I want to do is throw my shoe at the TV.
At the end of the day, Just Cause 2 is really fun because I can re-create historical disasters.
That just about sums up what Just Cause 2 is going for. It's a water-cooler game in every sense of the word. You can tell this because when I first told my friend about it, my phraseology was something went this. "So I needed to unlock a new mission, so I stuck a whole bunch of plastic explosives to a sports car and drove it into an explosives compound. The explosion killed me, but I kept all the rewards!"
The story follows a CIA agent named Rico Rodriguez. He is sent into a small southeast Asian island country to locate his mentor who may have gone rouge. Instead of just following leads on his whereabouts, Rico decides it would be best to destabilize the country by blowing up as many military depot's as possible.
Just Cause 2 is an open world game, but saying that Just Cause 2 is an open world game is like saying that Stalin went a bit too far. There are literally 400 virtual square miles of world for you to destroy. Now, most open worlds feature non-linear gameplay in which you generally need to do something a certain amount of times. This is sometimes the case in Just Cause, but the world is so huge that some of the missions can take on a linear feel. One problem that comes up in many open world games is that it releases you into a world in possibilities to steal cars and crash them into soup kitchens, and then punishes you for it, some games that are guilty of this are Grand Theft Auto, and Oblivion. This is not the case in Just Cause 2, as the game actually rewards you for blowing stuff up. To unlock story missions, you need to do stronghold missions, to get them, you need to do side missions, to do them, you need to cause chaos. Causing chaos is easier than you may think, because someone went all around the island and dropped explosive cans of oil everywhere.
The interesting gameplay mechanics the game offers are that of transportation. Rico has the ability to pull unlimited parachutes out of........ I don't know where he pulls the parachutes out of. He has no pockets! Where does he get the parachutes from? Either way, the parachute is really handy because landing anything besides a helicopter is incredibly difficult, and base jumping is really fun.
You also have a "grapple hook" that lets you grab onto anything within range. Using it to zip around is a good way to get places, but you can also use it to attach two things together. This includes people. One of the most satisfying things I have done in Just Cause 2 is grapple a guard to a car, then drive the car off of a cliff, or into a gas station, or off of a building.
The only thing I don't like about the game so far is the accents. There's one character whose accent is so terrible that every time I hear it, all I want to do is throw my shoe at the TV.
At the end of the day, Just Cause 2 is really fun because I can re-create historical disasters.
Friday, February 4, 2011
The Fretless Bass Reviews: Robert Plant and the Band of Joy
Last week, I had the privilege and the honor of seeing the Band of Joy in concert at Foxwoods. You should also know that I love Led Zeppelin; rarely a day goes by without me getting the Led out.
Down to business. The Band of Joy album came out in september of 2010, and the thing is fantastic. Plant has successfully fused rock and folk in perfect harmony. My favorite song on the album is "Cindy I'll Marry You Someday" and "Angel Dance." These songs are both upbeat, and are heavily folky. Cindy is an arrangement of a classic folk song, and Angel dance is a Los Lobos cover.
The concert was great. The opener was fantastic, the drummer had an electric washboard solo, which is all I need to say to communicate the awesomeness.
The true talent of the Band of Joy is their ability to change their songs so much. They played "Nobody's Fault but Mine," and it was fantastic, and they didn't even use the classic riff once. Also, when they did Cindy, it was a much harder rock song than on the album.
One more thing, Robert Plant is a funny man. He made jokes between every song. Before one song, he joked that it was a brand new single, it wasn't, but Plant made it more funny than I just did.
This has been a short review, but that's because I have nothing bad to say about Robert Plant and the Band of Joy. The only unhappy part was when we had to hitchhike home because Dad lost the car in the casino. So if you'll excuse me, I need to go snort some Cheerios.
Down to business. The Band of Joy album came out in september of 2010, and the thing is fantastic. Plant has successfully fused rock and folk in perfect harmony. My favorite song on the album is "Cindy I'll Marry You Someday" and "Angel Dance." These songs are both upbeat, and are heavily folky. Cindy is an arrangement of a classic folk song, and Angel dance is a Los Lobos cover.
The concert was great. The opener was fantastic, the drummer had an electric washboard solo, which is all I need to say to communicate the awesomeness.
The true talent of the Band of Joy is their ability to change their songs so much. They played "Nobody's Fault but Mine," and it was fantastic, and they didn't even use the classic riff once. Also, when they did Cindy, it was a much harder rock song than on the album.
One more thing, Robert Plant is a funny man. He made jokes between every song. Before one song, he joked that it was a brand new single, it wasn't, but Plant made it more funny than I just did.
This has been a short review, but that's because I have nothing bad to say about Robert Plant and the Band of Joy. The only unhappy part was when we had to hitchhike home because Dad lost the car in the casino. So if you'll excuse me, I need to go snort some Cheerios.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Things you need to stop doing of Facebook.
I've been doing facebook for a while now, and some things people do there are so annoying to me, that I've decided to write this. These complaints are in no particular order, but all of them should be taken seriously, because If you do this on facebook, I hate you.
1. Quit posting "I'm bored," or any variation on that, when you post something to facebook, it's supposed to make everyone's day better or worse. Telling everyone you know that you are pathetically unentertained while using a computer helps no one, least of all, you. If you do post those two demon words, make it interesting, like, "I'm bored, IN SPACE!"
2. Stop posting on statuses and photos someone added more than a week or two ago. Nothing ruins my internet binge more than clicking on a notification be be dragged to a horrible joke you posted on a status I don't even remember.
3. Stop sending me farmville/mafia wars messages. Messages are supposed to help me, not make me want to tear out your soul. Also, if you play farmville or mafia wars, it might be in your favor to keep it to yourself....... you enormous nerd.
4. Don't post purposely vague things just to make the rest of us ask what it is. Because deep down, you're only doing it to make yourself feel important for two more minutes, instead of hopelessly defeated and depressed. Facebook isn't the best way to solve that issue. Get a therapist.
5. Posting those statuses that say "Please post this to support (insert minority/deadly disease patients here) 90% of people won't do this, are you going to do the right thing?" Here's the problem with that, If I don't post it, I feel like a jerk, If I do, then I make other people feel like jerks when they don't post it. It creates a lose-lose situation for everyone. And really, how is a status on facebook going to help anyone? The only exception to this rule is if it's a joke, like instead of supporting cancer patients, it's supporting the families of people who died in the Hogwarts attack, in which case, it's the coolest thing ever.
So there you have it, my list of personal peeves for facebook, now I will warn you that I WILL come down hard on you if you do any of these on my wall. You have been warned.
1. Quit posting "I'm bored," or any variation on that, when you post something to facebook, it's supposed to make everyone's day better or worse. Telling everyone you know that you are pathetically unentertained while using a computer helps no one, least of all, you. If you do post those two demon words, make it interesting, like, "I'm bored, IN SPACE!"
2. Stop posting on statuses and photos someone added more than a week or two ago. Nothing ruins my internet binge more than clicking on a notification be be dragged to a horrible joke you posted on a status I don't even remember.
3. Stop sending me farmville/mafia wars messages. Messages are supposed to help me, not make me want to tear out your soul. Also, if you play farmville or mafia wars, it might be in your favor to keep it to yourself....... you enormous nerd.
4. Don't post purposely vague things just to make the rest of us ask what it is. Because deep down, you're only doing it to make yourself feel important for two more minutes, instead of hopelessly defeated and depressed. Facebook isn't the best way to solve that issue. Get a therapist.
5. Posting those statuses that say "Please post this to support (insert minority/deadly disease patients here) 90% of people won't do this, are you going to do the right thing?" Here's the problem with that, If I don't post it, I feel like a jerk, If I do, then I make other people feel like jerks when they don't post it. It creates a lose-lose situation for everyone. And really, how is a status on facebook going to help anyone? The only exception to this rule is if it's a joke, like instead of supporting cancer patients, it's supporting the families of people who died in the Hogwarts attack, in which case, it's the coolest thing ever.
So there you have it, my list of personal peeves for facebook, now I will warn you that I WILL come down hard on you if you do any of these on my wall. You have been warned.
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